This topic is posted to offer encouragement to those suffering grief over the loss of those they loved, either children or adults. When your loved one was a believer, there is hope in knowing they reside in Glory with the Savior! May you be blessed by what you read here....
When I am lonely and sad
And I fear my heart will break,
I lift my eyes toward the light,
To where my loved ones partake.
Placing my face upright
Where I can see the glorious sky,
I imagine the brilliant light
In which Heaven's angels fly.
Never any darkness,
Only joy that makes them smile,
Knowing the place in which they dwell
Helps me walk the journey’s mile.
Knowing they are safe and sound
In my Jesus’ mighty hand
Lets me rest (though I miss them so)
And gives me strength to stand.
The light that surrounds
The One who died for me,
Shines upon my dearest ones
Not for a day, for eternity!
I’ll draw from this light
That will brighten my day.
Even through the darkest moments
That may come my way.
So when my journey on earth
Makes me stumble and fall,
I need only to lift my eyes
And heed the Master's call.
For it’s there where my future lies
With the ones that I hold dear,
May His light shine forever more
On them in Heaven, and on me right here.
©Lucy Cain
And I fear my heart will break,
I lift my eyes toward the light,
To where my loved ones partake.
Placing my face upright
Where I can see the glorious sky,
I imagine the brilliant light
In which Heaven's angels fly.
Never any darkness,
Only joy that makes them smile,
Knowing the place in which they dwell
Helps me walk the journey’s mile.
Knowing they are safe and sound
In my Jesus’ mighty hand
Lets me rest (though I miss them so)
And gives me strength to stand.
The light that surrounds
The One who died for me,
Shines upon my dearest ones
Not for a day, for eternity!
I’ll draw from this light
That will brighten my day.
Even through the darkest moments
That may come my way.
So when my journey on earth
Makes me stumble and fall,
I need only to lift my eyes
And heed the Master's call.
For it’s there where my future lies
With the ones that I hold dear,
May His light shine forever more
On them in Heaven, and on me right here.
©Lucy Cain
LIFE AFTER LOSS
(When a Child Dies)
(When a Child Dies)
Psalm 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." NIV
If you are reading this, chances are you have lost a child to one of several possible means
and are asking yourself, "How do I live a normal life after the loss of my child?"
Loss can occur from many avenues, such as homicide, illness, auto accident, freak
accident, overdose, suicide, miscarriage or stillbirth. No matter how it occurs, parents are
left stunned and disoriented! They "float" through life, wondering what to do, how to go
on, and how to function in daily living.
Depression, restlessness, apathy and withdrawal can occur, marriages can be at risk, and
many feel that life is just not the same, nor will it ever be the same again. Many even
consider suicide...
Some parents have other children that also suffer the grief of losing a sibling. The parents
are so wrapped up in their own grief, that many times, the other siblings are not included
in their grief process. This can lead to the sibling's acting out, and creating behavioral
problems at home or at school because they don't know how to handle their own
emotions.
I have watched beloved family members struggle with this very issue. It is so hard to be
on the sideline watching them suffer. All I could do was love, hug, pray, and offer words
of encouragement and hope. Many times, that's all grieving families need.
As family members, we can't make them overcome. It has to come from within them, in
due time. All we can do is be there for them when they need to talk about their feelings
and the emotional roller coaster ride they are on.
What are some things you as a grieving Christian parent can do to help you progress
in your healing journey?
*Establish a website in memory of the loved one and place it on search engines to draw
other grieving families to the site as a form of encouragement. Example:
http://www.hopefromheaven.com/ (The site we established in memory of our loved ones.)
*Attend Christian based, grief support group meetings and talk to other families going
through similar situations. It always helps to talk to other people who have traveled
the same road.
*Write....poetry, stories, feelings. Just WRITE! It is a method of releasing those pent up
feelings!
*Go to a Children's Hospital and volunteer. There are many hurting families that need a
hug from someone who's "been there". Someone who may not know Christ’s abundant
love and grace that you have drawn from.
*Strengthen your faith/belief system. Remember...God didn't "do this".....but He can USE
this! Call upon Him for the strength and peace that can only come from a closer
relationship with Him! This is your “crisis of belief”, your crossroads. Time to move
closer to Him.
Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." NIV
*Seek professional counseling, or pastoral counseling if you feel you are having suicidal
thoughts or can't get out of bed. It helps to talk things over with a trained professional.
Psalm 25:5 "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." NIV
recover and live life to the full again!
*Give yourself permission to enjoy doing things. Many parents feel guilt over laughing
and enjoying life after the loss of a child. It's OK! Do something fun. Laugh. Live. Love.
That doesn't mean you'll forget......you can live and remember at the same time.
*Take up a hobby. Exercise. Get a puppy!
*Hold memorials on each anniversary of your child's passing. Many Compassionate
Friends Support Group families release monarch butterflies on the anniversary date. Our
family has. It is an emotional symbol of "letting them go"....
The following resource links may help you in your journey to life and living again....my
prayers are with you as you seek purpose and joy. It will happen. Trust me on that
one....and some day you will be strong enough to offer hope and encouraging words to
others that are in the place where you are right now. In need of support, TLC, and the
peace that passes all understanding. Live in honor of the one you lost. That is your
greatest gift to them.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." NIV
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/ (Look up topics on depression/grief/anger/loss)
http://www.growthtrac.com/ (Christian growth site, look up depression/grief)
http://moms.memorial-of-love.net/ (Website in memorial of children lost to homicide)
http://jhp.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/42/1/33 (Article on thriving after trauma)
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/ (grief self-help support group)
http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/ (Support group for bereaved parents)
http://www.groww.com/ (Grief recovery online)
http://www.memory-of.com/ (online memorial page)
http://www.griefjournal.com/ (journaling grief process)
http://www.memorialbutterfly.com/ (Our family releases monarch butterflies every anniversary)
http://www.brokenheartslivinghope.homestead.com/ (Christian grief support for bereaved parents)
©Lucy A. Cain 9/06
All Glory Is His Writing Ministry
Heaven’s Children
I cannot imagine Heaven’s realm
Without children to laugh and play,
Without their smiles and excitement…
To give such joy throughout the day.
I cannot imagine Heaven’s realm
Without children to laugh and play,
Without their smiles and excitement…
To give such joy throughout the day.
I cannot imagine Heaven’s realm
Without babies to hug and to hold,
To smell and touch and gently rock..
To give such joy that goes untold.
I cannot imagine Heaven’s realm
Without these little ones so fair,
Without them to care for every day…
Without their sweet presence there.
I cannot imagine Heaven’s realm
Without playing in eternal Light,
Without chasing butterflies and such…
Without the babies to snuggle tight.
While we on earth may miss them now
We know they are giving joy above,
They provide an element to Heaven’s realm…
That of the sweetness in children’s love.
Babies require constant watch and care
And God just may assign to them
A special angel to sit and rock…
To sing and hold these in Heaven’s Den.
So take heart if you have lost a child
To earthly realms we now know,
For God has a plan for your little one…
A plan in Heaven where they will go.
They won’t be left to wander alone
Or be left to sit unloved,
For God in His fullness is powerful…
But He’s also a God of love!
“Let the children come to Me.”
Is what He said here on earth,
The Savior loves these little ones…
Ones He knew before their birth.
He’s loving them with perfect love
A love that will never fail,
They will never go a day untouched…
We can’t fathom what that entails.
With heavenly hosts to watch over them
And choirs of angels in constant praise,
Beautiful streets of gold to roam…
There’s peace and joy for all their days.
Rest assured for God is in charge
Of the tiny soul that left this earth!
He will have a reason for this life,
A higher calling for this precious birth.
©Lucy Cain 8/22/06
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